What a Summer!

After my last entry so much has happened, and much of it was so overwhelming it has taken me awhile to sit down to put it into words. So I will start from my last blog.

Ottawa

We left for Ottawa for the repatriation ceremony, funeral and burial of Jason the Thursday after my last entry. The days we spent there were full, overwhelming and surreal, filled with many contradictory emotions. There is so much I could say about it but it is way too much to put in this one blog. We saw many of Stephen’s extended family and childhood friends that I had never had the opportunity to meet before and that Stephen hadn’t seen or talked to in years! Wonderful people who were a delight to see and for Stephen were a delight to be reunited with! We got to spend a lot of time with his parents Gerry and Debbie and his sister Rachelle. We met so many wonderful people that had known Jason in some way, including those from the Black Watch. Because of them, there was a lot of blessing and celebration in spite of the grief.

The ceremonies were unbelievable. They were powerful and Jason was honoured far beyond what was expected. It was amazing to see how many people he touched with his strength, sense of humour and sense of honour. He believed fully in what he was doing and refused to stand by in safety and comfort while others needed his help.

We first had the repatriation ceremony on the tarmac of CFB Trenton, where Jason and Cpl. Gomez were welcomed back to Canada. The small reception beforehand included the Minister of Defense Gordon O’Connor, Chief of Staff General Rick Hillier, the Afghan ambassador and the Governor General of Canada Michaëlle Jean. They were warm and personable, offering their comfort and support with sincerity and humility. Then we went to stand on the tarmac at dusk, with a warm humid wind blowing and the threatening rain clouds overhead turning brilliant orange, then pink, then dark blue and finally disappearing into the darkness of the night sky as the ceremony progressed. The pipers played as the Regiments brought home their comrades and carried them into the waiting hearses. Stephen stood stoically to my left beside his grieving parents and Rachelle, the other Cpl Warren, who stood at attention in uniform, saluting the passing flag-draped coffin of her brother with tears running down her cheeks. Michaëlle Jean stood to my right and as the ceremony progressed the Governor General took my arm, then grasped my hand and held on tightly until I moved with the family to lay roses on the coffin. It may have been her support as well as mine, I’m not sure, but it was a gesture that was very much appreciated.

The funeral was held in Montreal almost a week later. We were driven in limousines with the funeral procession from Ottawa. The funeral was held in the church of the Black Watch Regiment in Montreal – a stately and beautifully ornate 75-year-old Presbyterian church. The ceremony again was powerful and emotional. The church was packed with 1000 guests and traffic was stopped outside as the crowds formed. The pipes and drums played as the Regiment carried the coffin up the front stairs into the church. The hymns were well-chosen with words that rang with truth. The message was presented by one of the clergy from the church - a sincere and honest man of God. The eulogies were given by Gerry, the Black Watch commanding officer and a good friend of Jason’s from the Black Watch. It was my father-in-law’s birthday and he made it through giving a very touching eulogy for his oldest son.

After the funeral we filed out behind the Regimental soldiers carrying the coffin and stood on the stairs outside of the church, listening to the pipes and drums that paced the soldiers who placed the coffin back into the hearse. As we stood in the muggy heat, big fat raindrops slowly started to fall but it wasn’t until we got back into the limos and made our way to the historic Black Watch Armoury that it started to pour. We spent the afternoon at the old Armoury. It filled beyond capacity with hundreds of the Black Watch soldiers and veterans, as well as friends and family, who had come for the funeral and to pay their respects. The Armoury had no air conditioning so it got pretty warm inside. Despite the heat, and the poor soldiers in their wool uniforms who were drenched with sweat, we had a good time. We took a lot of breaks outside to stand in the rain or get a breath of air. We talked with Stephen’s friends from Quebec and met many of Jason’s friends from the Black Watch.

The next day was the interment (burial) in the beautiful National Military Cemetery of the Canadian Forces in Ottawa. Our funeral procession was escorted by the Ontario Provincial Police on motorcycles as though it were the procession for a head of state. They stopped all traffic as they led us through Ottawa on a winding scenic road along the river, then downtown past the Supreme Court and the Parliament, past the Prime Minister’s and Governor General’s residences, to the cemetery. It was another hot day but we stood under a tent for shade throughout the emotional service. I knew some of what would happen in a military interment but was unprepared for the power of experiencing it for real. After meeting the guys of the Black Watch the day before, it was also hard to watch them. The guys who carried Jason’s coffin with tears in their eyes and grief on their face were some of his best friends. The Regiment gave him the 21 gun salute, and even though I was expecting it, the noise was startling. I watched the faces of the young soldiers that I had met the day before at the Armoury who told me how much they had looked up to Jason and how hard it would be for them to do this. As TAPS was played it hit hard that this was it, the last ceremony, the last good-bye. The flag was folded, handed to my mother-in-law, and at the end of the service the coffin was lowered and we were led away as his Regiment saluted him two-by-two, removing a feather from red hackle on their berets and dropping it onto the coffin, covering it in red.

There is so much else that happened in between that I can’t possibly begin to describe. I'm highlighting just the ceremonies to give some small picture of what it was like. There were so many emotions, details and circumstances throughout those days that we experienced and witnessed. It left us pretty exhausted and left me at least emotionally very raw. It is an experience that has changed both of us.

I am including some links to pictures and newspaper articles if you would like more.
Pictures:
Pictures taken by a Black Watch Veteran
Media:
Black Watch
Repatriation
Interview with His Parents
Funeral
Interment

Vacation

We came back to Calgary exhausted. We had planned for a vacation with my parents who were coming to Calgary to visit. With our trip to Ottawa it was a little later than we planned but not cancelled. My parents picked us up from the airport in Calgary and it was so good to see them. The first couple days we had little energy but it very comforting to have them here. We spent time with my uncle and aunt, Jim and Sharon, went to the mountains, celebrated our 5th anniversary and my 31st birthday, shopped and spent lots of time in Aunty Sharon's beautiful garden drinking coffee and talking and even praying. I think it was exactly what we needed at that time.

Ironman Canada, Penticton, BC

When I returned to work, one of my co-workers had given her notice and was leaving at the end of the week. She had been scheduled to go to Penticton to help support our Cops For Cancer contingent at the Ironman Canada Triathlon in Penticton, BC in the Okanagan Valley. Since others had vacation scheduled at the time, I was asked to go instead and Stephen was able to come with me. It was the second unexpected trip for us in a matter of weeks. We got to spend 4 days in beautiful Penticton (plus 2 days traveling) for the Ironman. I spent a few hours each day at an information booth but we had a lot of time to ourselves. The weather was perfect and the beaches were beautiful. We spent one morning with Marie-France, Debbie's best friend who we had spent time with in Ottawa and who happens to live in the Okanagan as well. That was fun! We watched the Ironman which is an amazing, grueling race and Stephen decided he would love to train for and run that race. I know he could do it although I don't understand why he wants to. I would have no interest whatsoever in putting myself through that kind of torture.

When we returned from Penticton we got a visit from my cousin Jonathan from California. He was in town for business so we went out for supper with him and my Aunty Sharon. It was fun to see him and catch up with him again!

And then August became September and summer was over. And the busy fall began.